Friday, November 20, 2015

Lonely and Isolated - Apart from others and the world around.

Some of the most depressing times in my life were those when I was the loneliest. I specifically recall a time when I was in the midst of a dark depression and substance abuse, my days and nights came and went, with very little interaction with the world around me.
Substance abuse and depression often follow loneliness, but there are plenty of people on this earth whom are not experiencing those circumstances, that happen to be very lonely. This can be a delicate situation because visa versa, loneliness can very easily follow substance abuse and depression. Therefore, I believe it must be taken seriously and addressed appropriately.
Loneliness is a sad, especially if you do not want to be lonely, and I doubt many do. Most people feel lonely at some point or other in their life; it can be different for everyone. For instance, yes we certainly can appreciate “ME” time and an adequate amount of solitude can be rejuvenating, but for intense, long periods of loneliness accompanied with isolation well, that is bound to bring on emotional challenges. The good news is you don't have to feel that way if you decide to take a stand and make some changes
Loneliness it is a feeling that brings on separation and isolation. It can make a person feel out of touch with other human beings. Most people experience it when they do not have close family members, friends, or interaction with people on a regular basis.
There are other forms such as a person feeling lonely even when surrounded by crowds or where there is lack of intimacy in relationships. People may experience loneliness at different stages of their life such as when the kids are ready to leave the home for the first time or after a divorce. For a lonely person holidays and birthdays can be a more difficult to deal with because the feelings become more intensified.

You can learn to overcome loneliness by taking hands on approach. Here are some ideas that can help. Please, it is important to keep an open mind and be willing to make a choice for a difference in your life. The realization that only you can change the way you feel is an important factor.
Recognize your loneliness. Don’t be ashamed of it, we all at some point or another go through it. Acceptance is the beginning of a positive trip on the road of life.
Consider speaking with a therapist or attending a self help group. Remember you have choices today. So if you don’t feel comfortable with a particular therapist or group, you move on to the next one. The key thing to remember is never give up! This is your life, you only get one, and so you have the right to fight for it.
Engage in positive activities. In the beginning for me it was as simple as taking a small walk over to the public library and reading an inspirational book. Even if I didn’t know anyone at the library, at least I was surrounded by them instead of four walls in my bedroom.  In today’s world they have great coffee shops, go ahead get your frappe and surround yourself with other coffee lovers. Go online and research a local meet up group near you, there are literally hundreds and hundreds of them with a variety of activities and events to choose from.
Register for a continuing education class, art class, or the local gym. I find that while on the cross country machine or treadmill I tend to engage in small talk with the person on the machine next to me. Some community centers often offer free recreational activities. If you enter certain key words on the internet ex: free things to do in Michigan, you will find plenty to choose from. I believe we all have yet to discover some of our very own hidden talents pick up that paint brush, amaze yourself. Just go with the flow, you don’t have to be Picasso, just be you, have fun and share your discoveries.
Show interest in others. A smile goes a long way and can light up another person’s day that may also be lonely. A simple hello and a smile is a perfect icebreaker for small conversation.

Apply for a volunteer position.  At your local hospital, library, pet center, school, or home care facility. A few hours of your time will make a difference in your life as well as others. It is perfect for building and establishing relationships as well as healing a lonely heart.
Adopt a pet. If you have heard that pets make great companions, well you heard right. Not only do they keep you company, they make you laugh and engage in healthy activities. There are so many things you can do with your pet that also allows you to build new relationship with others. If you have a dog, taking them out for walks in the neighborhood and bumping into other dog, loving walkers. Going out to the dog park is lots of fun. And even while taking your pet to the vet for their routine checkups can be a great way to interact with other who share your interest. Remember, being a pet owner requires responsibility and a loving heart.

Loneliness for me accompanies social anxiety, isolation, depression and an array of other symptoms. Although I have tamed many of them, I continue to be involved in support groups where I can talk about it with others. They offer their suggestions and share their experiences with me. They remind me that I’m not alone if I choose not to be.
Just like with most things, practice makes perfect. It is no different with loneliness. There will be moments where you may become discouraged, that’s okay we all have set backs, just as long as you don’t allow it to take precedent over your goal.



  1. I don't get lonely at my sea, maybe that is because I have a crazy cat with me haha or I'm just so much on an independent sob

  2. Some very good tips here---thank you for sharing!

  3. This is very true. I have at times been very lonely and the worst thing about it is how it can stop you from taking the steps to change, or even rejecting offers of help. It is so important to acknowledge it.

    1. Very true Jenny, it is challenging and important indeed to to acknowledge. Thanks bunches for sharing.:)

  4. Hi Madison,

    So thoughtful tips, my kind friend. Indeed, loneliness can happen from a number of factors that have impacted our personal environment.

    The key really is that we have to understand that we need not feel alone. Sometimes that can be difficult when your mindset, such as mine, through devastating circumstances, made me feel not worthy of social interacting.

    A challenge that I encounter every day. And yet, I continue to not let loneliness sabotage my life completely.

    Thank you for this.

    Hugs and hope, your way,


    1. Hello my friend, so nice to have you visit. Your strength never ceases to amaze me. You are worthy of every good in this world.


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