When I was battling alcoholism and untreated mental illness my opinions and feelings were not taken seriously or were considered unacceptable. The thing with that is that even when I got sober and began healing, the things I had to say were still not validated. Those around me got use to me not speaking up for myself or when I did, I was shunned and asked “are you okay? Or did you take your medication today?"
Well, apparently some peoples view on me speaking up has not changed much over the years. I still struggle with speaking up and having a voice, difference now is that I still do it anyway.
Sometimes, I am even bold enough to tell them, that "what I say matters and if they don’t like it, it is their opinion, just as I have mine." That’s a shell shocker for them, and by them, I mean those closest to me. Yes, it’s always the one’s who are closest to you.
One of the things that has been difficult for me is to say NO. When asked to do something, go somewhere, contribute to something or maybe even say “no, I don’t agree.” it has always been challenging for me. Although, I still struggle with it, I am getting better at saying “no,” sadly it often comes with a confrontation, another thing I suck at. But, I am saying it more and the end result for me after a bit of anxiety is that I feel proud of myself.
Bottom line is, I am worthy of having my own opinions and feeling about things. My choices matter, my voice matters, even if it doesn't to anyone else, it matters to me and using it is just as important as anyone else’s.
How comfortable are you when speaking up for yourself?
Do you struggle with finding your voice and expressing what is important to you?