I had a good run, I really did, but now the grayness is once again leaning towards me, leaving me frightened that the darkness will settle. I have not felt this way in quite a while. This past summer was a good one, so was the beginning of fall, lot’s of changes took place which I embraced positively. I even manage to get my laptop fixed and finally purchased internet service, which was a challenging because there were no towers available in my area; low and behold I am plugged in thanks to those hot spot USB devices.
And now, here I am battling this melancholic feeling that I am all too familiar with. Although, I was almost certain it would remain in the past, I see it as a reminder that although it is not who I am, it is still a part of me and will always be.
My depression will come and go, sometimes go for long periods of time to the point where I get comfortable as well as complacent, my usual routines go out the window, self care is placed in the back burner and meditation along with spirituality is a thing of the past. All a big No, No, I may as well have a ticker time bomb attached to me.
I have a plan which I am hoping to implement as soon as possible. I have learned through out the years that although depressive disorder is part of me I don’t have to entertain it; there are things I can do to lessen it and put it to rest.
Exercise for one, is a part of my dan and when I don’t do it I begin to whittle away, so I will make it a point to re-join the local gym and make use of my membership.
I will also start to practice my prayer and mediation again, along with attending my Ala-non 12 step (family and friends of alcoholics) meetings which sadly I have stopped going.
In other words, I will practice self care with the goal of evading the darkness and preventing it from settling.
Are there any self care routines that you have not practiced lately? What kind of things do you do that make you feel better?