Tonight, after a well intended bonding afternoon with my daughter turned argumentative, I began thinking of all the things my mental illness's has taken away from me and even those around me. It has taken relationships, family, jobs, hope, opportunities and more. I sit here on my bed tonight reflecting and a bit saddened by my past, but let me assure you, not defeated.
I've heard it said that its okay to think of our difficult past's just as long as we don't allow it to dictate our present or future, so I guess I'm having a few non dictatorial moment's. In these, I remember how ill I was, I also grieve for the many loses that my untreated mental illness contributed to. But, these moments also make me stronger, they help me continue fighting and caring for myself.
I've lost enough! Hell, it's even safe to say I've destroyed, but I can also say I am now gaining and creating.
Every single time I attend therapy, take medication as prescribed, talk about mental health related issues, listen and read others experiences, I build a defense against regress.
I remind myself that I cannot change my pass nor the hurt I caused, but I can certainly strive for a better today.
I am not cured, I have made progress, that is huge, although others will not commend me for it, I must always be proud. I have an illness and when untreated it can be dangerous for me. I am however not my illness, Many don't understand this, but it is extremely important that I do.
As I'm finishing this post, I got a tweet from a fellow blogger Tina, over at http://bringingalongocd.blogspot.com/ she tweeted " you are strong, remember that." That was a feel good moment, because that is part of the process for progress, inspiring and supporting one another. :-))
What helps you move forward and continue progress?