Saturday, December 15, 2012

Sitting at the edge of my bed. Mental illness - My experience


I can still remember sitting at the edge of my bed. Unable to move or even return back to what was my usual fetal position in those days. With tears streaming down my eyes, I couldn't understand the emotions or the hollowness inside my immobolized body. The emotional pain was unbearable, shredding every piece of me both inside and out.

I couldn't make sense of it and never thought I would ever feel any different. I mean, how on earth does someone get out of an inner state of torture, that they have no control over and makes them feel so much stronger than them?

I recall a prayer I would say in the mist of the darkness ( my depression.) "God I promise you, that if you help me out of this darkness, I will help those who are suffering like I am now." In the middle of my own despair, I somehow knew that no one should have to endure such pain.

Eventually, I reached out for help. First, by telling a friend, second by seeing a mental health proffesional and third, by educating myself and learning about my illness. I can not say it was or is an easy process, but it is one that I am glad I participated in and continue to do so.

This blog and some of my other social networks are some of the ways I am keeping my promise to my answered prayers. And of course, it is also helping me continue in my process of maintaing good mental health.

To learn more about mental illness and mental health resoures, please visit my resource page up above. Remember don't let anything or anyone stop you from reaching out for the help.

We are worthy and hope is alive in each and everyone of us!



22 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing this story of your pain and your prayer, and how you are helping others. You truly are helping others with your blog and social media, and I'm glad I found you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am glad I found you and your blog as well, Tina. :-)

      Delete
  2. Dear Madison,

    And as you rose from your bed, the tears streamed and you had a moment of revelation.

    Out of your anguish, your despair, your inner child called your name. And you knew, you just knew that you must seek help.

    Now, as you continue to embrace positivity, you, my friend, forward on the gift of empathy to those who feel so overwhelmed. We both know there is no shame in seeking help. Mental health concerns can happen to anybody and we must be here for each other. May those who feel alone understand they need not be alone and observe your positive resources.

    We are all valid and together, the hope of better days are there for the taking.

    Stay well and thank you for your thoughtful and informative article.

    In kindness and understanding, on behalf of my human, Penny the Jack Russell dog :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Gary, Yes, there is no shame in seeking help. We are indeed in this together, with our courage and peserverance we can let others know that we are not alone.

      Delete
  3. I am glad that you chose to ask for help, and that you are here today with a more positive outlook on life that you have chosen to share with us all. I find inspiration in what you write, and want to echo your sentiment that if something is going wrong for anybody then please seek help. Recovery is definitely possible, as you have proven Madison.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lost in space, you have also proven in your writings and creativity that recovery is possible.

      Delete
  4. you have endured a lot and the best thing is that you have never forgotten those days. It clearly shows the soul in you. you are a person blessed with a kind and sensitive heart. Helping others in similar condition once again proves the same. Keep it up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sam, thank you for your thoughtful and heartfelt comment, I am truly touched.

      Delete
  5. Thank you for sharing your experience with such honesty. You let so many of us know that we are not alone and there is hope.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thank you for visiting my page and commenting Madison! Also, thank you for sharing this. I love the openness and introspection.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Opening up about mental illness was one of the scariest and best things I've done. I still have a long way to go, but I know I'll get there, and I know I'm not alone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Karen, it has been for me too. A pleasure having you visit.

      Delete
  8. You are welcome! I appreciate your thoughtfulness.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Dear one thank you for sharing. Safe hugs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Justbereal, thank you for your visit and kind comment. :-)

      Delete
  10. Your description of depression and its uninvited severe effects on your life are very descriptive on how it really feels.

    I too have struggled with severe immobilizing life changing depression. The effects of depression fortunately with treatment can be improved considerably with proper treatment.

    Thanks for sharing, I find by sharing it helps everyone even us.

    Gerald

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gerald, thank you for commenting and sharing. We are certainly not alone, and together we can empower ourselves.

      Delete
  11. Hi Madison,

    Like you, my faith helped me get through the challenges of living with a mental illness and into recovery.

    We made it!- Let's continue to help ourselves and peers by sharing our stories....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi ashley, having faith certainly helps. Thank you!

      Delete
  12. Madison you are a true inspiration. I have been thinking lately of how I have been to my version of hell many times over... mainly during the height of my illness. How I used to blame myself for getting myself there. Now I look at it from the perspective of the strength and courage it took for me to climb out again and again. I think we all have what it takes to climb out given the support and compassion to guide us to learn to love ourselves the way we are. I think you are one of those guides. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Thank you, Trish, for your kiind words.

    ReplyDelete


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...