Saturday, November 17, 2012

Today's mental health review - Ranting



Today's visit to the dentist did not go well, I just basically started to cry as I sat in that awful chair staring at my x-rays. On top of that I got very OCD during the visit, inspecting the cleanliness of everything and going from room to room in search of  hand sanitizer, while I was waiting to be seen.

Unlike other times, when I'm in that part of NYC and I take my time browsing the wonderful department stores on my way to the subway, well that was not the case this time, the walk to the subway station was an uncomfortable one as well as super quick due to my urge to go to the bathroom. Because, I did not like the way the restroom looked in the dental office such as, no hand soap to wash hands nor paper towels to dry them.

Still, I have no computer at home, so basically I am still blogging through my iPhone, which is why my post's as you can see are becoming far in between. I do miss my fellow bloggers and followers. :-)

Oh, let me not forget to rant about my marriage which is in a complete disarray and I'm growing more and more tired at my attempts of saving it. I think I am entering the acceptance stage, which all and all might be a good thing. I have always advocated acceptance and the importance of it in order to move forward.

So there you have it my ranting post. I do appreciate you reading and please know that although, I do not have a PC at the moment, I still read your blogs through my tiny phone screen or when ever I am able to go to the library.

10 comments:

  1. Dear Madison,

    What a time you had and I'm so very sorry. Yet despite your ordeal which may have been enhanced by your sharper focus on the dentist experience, I'm noting something very positive.

    Madison, with the difficulties you are encountering in blogging due to a lack of a computer, your determination to get your valid verbalisations out here to us, glows with positive radiance.

    I know that a marriage should be a healthy balanced compromise. And yes, sadly we sometimes have to accept that what once was, has changed. My wife divorced me and I never got the answer to my question, "why?" I had to accept that some questions may never get an answer. May you move on in a way that is beneficial to all concerned. This is about you, your life and your right to be happy.

    Madison, I'm around in the background whenever you need support and encouragement. Try to have a peaceful weekend. You are never alone.

    In kindness and good wishes, your way, Gary

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    1. Gary, I am so grateful for fellow bloggers and friends like you. Your encouragement and wisdom helps me get through some of my difficult times and always puts a smile on my face.

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  2. Good to see you again. I hope you are able to get the computer fixed soon. And good luck with whatever you decide to do with your marriage. Sending positive thoughts your way.

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    1. Hi, lost in space! Always a pleasure reading a comment from you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. :-)

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  3. I'm so sorry this is a hard time for you. I'm glad you were able to post--I've missed you. I'll be thinking about you and sending you good thoughts for better times.

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    1. Good thoughts always welcomed from you Tina! You are a kind and wise woman. :-)

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  4. I hope you are hanging in there, Madison! Sounds like times are a bit tough on you right now.

    Glad you are still able to get some posts out and let us know how things are and "rant" and get things off your chest a bit. It can be very helpful!

    The dentist has always terrified me and I would be a complete wreck as well, probably for days before and after the visit. I am actually putting off a much needed visit there currently.

    Marital troubles I can totally understand. I've recently gone through a divorce. (Legally, I am still going through it and will be for some time yet, but emotionally I have things pretty much sorted out.) It's no fun so I truly hope you are able to sort things out and get through them one way or another with some sort of peace. Best of luck and if you need someone to talk to about it, I am here and could offer some resources!

    One silver lining that I found with my divorce was the realization of how many parallels there are between coping strategies for a "normal" adverse life situation such as this and the coping strategies I have become very familiar with due to my mental illness and determination to overcome it. I won't lie, it was (and is) horrible, but it could have been much worse. Maybe panic disorder was put in my life to prepare me to handle this without being crushed. I am being strengthened by all of these challenges. Instead of looking at myself as unfortunate for having this miserable (and it can be indeed miserable) curse dumped upon me, I have come to see myself as fortunate for the inevitable positive changes it imposes on who I am. Sometimes it's just all about how you choose to look at things.

    Did not mean to rant so long!
    Hang in there and thanks for checking in! Please don't hesitate to reach out if you need anything!

    -Aaron

    -Aaron

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  5. Aaron, thank you for your supportive message. It means alot. :-)

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  6. I do hope that everything is going to work out well for you soon - your marriage worries over, a computer, and most of all... Happiness in your heart. You deserve it! :-D

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  7. Hi sweet Amanda, as I like to call you. Because you are among the many sweet people I have had the pleasure of meeting online. And I am ever so grateful for your kind comments and encouragement.

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