Sunday, January 16, 2011
Healing process, loving yourself and having relationships and friendships
I recently reacquainted myself with a friend. That’s right, reacquainted and yes most people would question the (friend) part as well. But, what else should I call her? Anyhow, I have known her for about, I’d say 10 years now.
For the past five, I tend to hear from her more when she is experiencing some sort of wackiness in her life. So you could say I’m an ear for her, when she is bouncing off the walls. That’s okay we all need somebody sometime and truthfully I’ve been there (in her shoes), done that, some of it anyway.
Her issues are mainly man related, and again she has fallen victim of another toxic relationship. Unlike her other failed attempts at finding love, she has finally decided to get to the core of this little problem and find herself, she wants to understand why she needs a man to define and make her feel whole. Also, she would like to unravel the mystery behind why she makes the choices that she makes in a mate.
Jealousy, envy, greed, low self esteem, control issues and more accompany her when she is involved with a man, and frankly it is tearing her apart. Her attempts at escaping these ruined rendezvous are unsuccessful and her motives all wrong.
She likes to play the cat and mouse game to feed her ego, but like always it back fires on her and there she lays, with tear filled eyes, calling her long lost friends in the hopes of reacquainting and hearing some profound words of wisdom.
This time, unlike others, I decided to practice honesty in my conversations with her. I expressed my concern over her behaviors and agreed with the idea of her getting therapy.
We are calling it healing, and we have come to an agreement that in order for her to heal, she has to stop picking at the wounds. My friend has to be willing to experience a certain level of emotional pain, for her to experience growth, she has to let go and surrender to the truth that reflects from the mirror she looks at.
A few more things that my friend needs to learn, that I have not told her yet(which I will, you'll get an update:). She needs to learn how to be a friend to her friends, an active family member to her family and a caring soul to others in general. Most of all she needs to like, love and care for herself, before she can have a meaningful relationship with a man as her mate, lover or husband.